Shadow Kiss Chapter 28

Twenty-eightTHE NEXT TWELVE HOURS were the longest in my life.Our group made it bet on to campus safely, though most of it was done at a run which was hard with so umpteen an(prenominal) hurt. The entire time I felt nauseous, presumably because Strigoi were near. If they were, they never caught up to us, and its possible I was simply sick from everything that had happened in the caves.Once back behind the wards, the former(a) novices and I were forgotten. We were safe, and the adults now had a lot of otherwise things to concern themselves with. All of the captives had been rescued all the ones that were alive. As Id feared, the Strigoi had decided to munch on one before we got there. That meant we had rescued twelve. Six guardians including Dimitri had been lost. Those werent bad numbers considering how many Strigoi wed faced, and when you took the difference, it really meant wed only maintaind six lives. Had the loss of all those guardians lives been worth it?You cant loo k at it that way, Eddie told me as we walked toward the clinic. Everyone, prisoners and raiders, had been ordered to get checked fall out. You didnt beneficial save those lives. You guys killed almost thirty Strigoi, plus the ones on campus. Think some all the people they would have killed. You essentially saved all those peoples lives too.A demythologized incision of me knew he was right. But what did rationality have to do with anything when Dimitri might be loose? It was petty and selfish, just in that moment, I wanted to bargain all those lives for his. He wouldnt have wanted that, though. I knew him.And through the tiniest, smallest chance, it was possible he wasnt dead. Even though the bite had looked exquisite serious, that Strigoi could have incapacitated him and so fled. He could be lying in the caves right now, dying and in need of medical care. It drove me crazy, thinking of him like that and us unable to process. thither was no way we could go back, however. non until daytime. Another party would go then to bring back our dead so that we could bury them. Until then, I had to wait.Dr. Olendzki gave me a quick check, decided I didnt have a concussion, and then sent me on my way to bandage my own scrapes. She had too many others to worry rough right now who were in far worse condition.I knew the smart thing was to go to my dorm or to Lissa. I could have used the rest, and through the bond, I felt her calling to me. She was worried. She was afraid. I knew shed find out the news soon, though. She didnt need me, and I didnt want to see her. I didnt want to see anyone. So rather than go to my dorm, I went to the chapel. I needed to do something until the caves could be checked out. Praying was as good an option as any.The chapel was usually put down in the middle of the day, but not this time. I shouldnt have been surprised. Considering the death and tragedy of the last twenty-four hours, it was only natural that people would seek comfort. rough sat alone, some sat in groups. They cried. They knelt. They prayed. Some simply stared off into space, clearly unable to believe what had happened. Father Andrew moved virtually the sanctuary, speaking to many of them.I found an empty pew in the very back corner and sat there. Drawing my knees up to me, I wrapped my arms around them and rested my head. On the walls, icons of saints and angels watched over all of us.Dimitri couldnt be dead. There was no way he could be. Surely, if he was, I would hold out. No one could take a life like that from the world. No one who had held me in bed like he had yesterday could really be gone. We had been too agile, too alive. Death couldnt bring home the bacon something like that.Lissas chotki was around my wrist, and I ran my fingers over the cross and the beads. I tried desperately to put my models into the forms of prayers, but I didnt know how. If God was real, I count on He was powerful enough to know what I wanted without me ac tually saying the right words.Hours passed. People came and went. I got tired of sitting and eventually stretched myself crosswise the length of the pew. From the gold-painted ceiling, more(prenominal) saints and angels stared down at me. So a great deal divine help, I thought, but what good were they really doing?I didnt even realize Id locomote asleep until Lissa woke me up. She looked like an angel herself, the pale hair hanging long and loose around her face. Her eyes were as gentle and compassionate as those of the saints.Rose, she said. Weve been tone all over for you. Have you been here the entire time?I sat up, feeling tired and bleary-eyed. Considering I hadnt slept the night before and had then gone on a massive raid, my fatigue was understandable.Pretty much, I told her.She shook her head. That was hours ago. You should go eat something.Im not hungry. Hours ago. I clutched her arm. What time is it? Has the sun come up?No. Its still about, oh, five hours away.Five hour s. How could I wait that long?Lissa touched my face. I felt magic burn through our bond, and then the warm and cold tingling coursed through my own skin. Bruises and cuts disappeared.You shouldnt do that, I said.A faint smile crossed her lips. Ive been doing it all day. Ive been helping Dr. Olendzki.I heard that, but wow. It just feels so strange. Weve always kept it hidden, you know?It doesnt matter if everyone knows now, she said with a shrug. After everything thats happened, I had to help. So many people are hurt, and if it way of life my secret getting outwell, it had to happen sooner or later. Adrians been helping too, though he cant do as much.And then, it hit me. I straightened up.Oh my God, Liss. You can save him. You can help Dimitri.Deep sorrow filled her face and the bond. Rose, she said quietly. They say Dimitris dead.No, I said. He cant be. You dont understand. I think he was just injured. in all probability badly. But if youre there when they bring him back, you can heal him. Then, the craziest thought of all came to me. And if if he did die The words hurt coming out. You could bring him back only if like with me. Hed be shadow-kissed too.Her face grew even sadder. Sorrow for me now radiated out from her. I cant do that. Bringing people back from the dead is a extensive power drainand besides, I dont think I could do it on someone who has been dead, um, that long. I think it has to be recent.I could hear the crazy discouragement in my own voice. But you have to try.I cant She swallowed. You heard what I said to the queen. I meant it. I cant go around bringing every dead person back to life. That gets into the kind of abuse Victor wanted. Its why we kept this secret.Youd let him die? You wouldnt do this? You wouldnt do this for me? I wasnt shouting, but my voice was emphatically too loud for a church. Most everyone was gone now, and with the level of grief around here, I doubted anyone thought too much of an outburst. I would do anything for you. You know that. And you wont do this for me? I was on the verge of sobbing.Lissa studied me, a million thoughts swirling in her mind. She assessed my words, my face, my voice. And like that, she finally got it. She finally realized what I felt for Dimitri, that it was more than a teacher-student bond. I felt the knowledge light up in her mind. Countless connections suddenly came together for her comments Id made, ways that Dimitri and I acted around each other it all made sense to her now, things shed been too blind to notice. Questions immediately sprang up too, but she didnt ask any of them or even mention what shed realized. Instead, she just took my muckle in hers and pulled me close.Im so sorry, Rose. Im so, so sorry. I cant.I let her drag me away after that, presumably to get food. But when I sat at the cafeteria table and stared at the tray in front of me, the thought of eating anything made me sicker than being around the Strigoi had. She gave up after that, reali zing nothing was going to happen until I knew what had happened to Dimitri. We went up to her room, and I lay down on the bed. She sat near me, but I didnt want to talk, and I soon fell asleep again. The future(a) time I woke up, it was my mother beside me.Rose, were going to check the caves. You cant go into them, but you can come to the schools borders with us if you want.It was the best I could get. If it meant I could find out what had happened to Dimitri a moment sooner than if I stayed here, Id do it. Lissa came with me, and we trailed behind the assembled guardian party. I was still hurt by her refusal to heal Dimitri, but a part of me secretly thought she wouldnt be able to hold back once she saw him.The guardians had assembled a large group to check the caves, just in case. We were pretty sure the Strigoi were gone, however. Theyd lost their advantage and had to know that if we came back for the dead, it would be with renewed numbers. Any of them that had survived would be gone.The guardians crossed over the wards, and the rest of us who had followed along waited by the border. Hardly anyone spoke. It would probably be three hours before they came back, counting travel time. Trying to ignore the dark, leaden feeling inside of me, I sat on the ground and rested my head against Lissas shoulder, wishing the minutes would fly by. A Moroi fire user created a bonfire, and we all warmed ourselves by it.The minutes didnt fly, but they did eventually pass. Someone shouted that the guardians were coming back. I leapt up and ran to look. What I saw drove me to a halt.Stretchers. Stretchers carrying the bodies of those who had been killed. Dead guardians, their faces pale and eyes unseeing. One of the notice Moroi went and threw up in a bush. Lissa started crying. One by one, the dead filed chivalric us. I stared, feeling cold and empty, wondering if Id see their ghosts the following(a) time I went outside the wards.Finally, the whole group had gone by. Five bodies, but it had felt like five hundred. And there was one body I hadnt seen. One Id been dreading. I ran up to my mother. She was helping carry a stretcher. She wouldnt look at me and undoubtedly knew what Id come to ask.Wheres Dimitri? I demanded. Is he It was too much to hope for, too much to ask. Is he alive? Oh God. What if my prayers had been answered? What if he was back there injured, waiting for them to send a doctor?My mother didnt answer right away. I barely recognized her voice when she did.He wasnt there, Rose.I stumbled over the uneven ground and had to hurry up to catch her again. Wait, whats that mean? Maybe hes injured and left to get help.She still wouldnt look at me. mollie wasnt there either.Molly was the Moroi who had been snacked on. She was my age, tall and beautiful. Id seen her body in the cave, drained of blood. She had definitely been dead. There was no way shed been injured and staggered out. Molly and Dimitri. Both their bodies gone.No, I gasped out. You dont thinkA tear leaked out of my mothers eye. Id never seen anything like that from her. I dont know what to think, Rose. If he survived, its possibleits possible they took him for later.The thought of Dimitri as a snack was too horrible for words but it wasnt as horrible as the alternative. We both knew it.But they wouldnt have taken Molly for later. Shed been dead a while.My mother nodded. Im sorry, Rose. We cant know for sure. Its likely theyre both just dead, and the Strigoi dragged their bodies off.She was lying. It was the first time in my entire life that my mother had ever told me a lie to protect me. She wasnt the comforting kind, wasnt the kind who would make up pretty stories in order to make someone feel better. She always told the harsh truth.Not this time.I stopped walking, and the group continued filing past me. Lissa caught up, worried and confused.Whats happening? she asked.I didnt answer. Instead, I turned and ran backwards, back toward the wards. She ran aft er me, calling my name. No one else noticed us because honestly, who in the world was stupid enough to cross the wards after everything that had happened?I was, although in daylight, I had nothing to fear. I ran past the place Jesses group had attacked her, stepping across the invisible lines that marked the boundaries of the Academys grounds. Lissa hesitated a moment and then joined me. She was breathless from running after me.Rose, what are you Mason I cried. Mason, I need you.It took him a little while to materialize. This time, he not only seemed ultra-pale, he also appeared to be flickering, like a light about to go out. He stood there, watching me, and although his expression was the same as always, I had the weirdest feeling that he knew what I was going to ask. Lissa, beside me, kept glancing back and forth among me and the spot I was speaking to.Mason, is Dimitri dead?Mason shook his head.Is he alive?Mason shook his head.Neither alive nor dead. The world swam around me, s parkles of garble dancing before my eyes. The lack of food had made me dizzy, and I was on the verge of fainting. I had to stay in control here. I had to ask the next question. Out of all the victimsout of all the victims they could have chosen, surely they wouldnt have picked him.The next words stuck in my throat, and I sank to my knees as I spoke them.Is he is Dimitri a Strigoi?Mason hesitated only a moment, like he was afraid to answer me, and then he nodded.My heart shattered. My world shattered.You will lose what you cling to most.It hadnt been me that Rhonda was talking about. It hadnt even been Dimitris life.What you value most.It had been his soul.